Week 9 and Week 10 Results

Week 9  Down 1.2

Week 10 Up .8

Plantar Fasciitis getting me down. The whole competition I have complained about heal pain in my right foot and it has gotten to the point now, since I kept on going with out treating it, where I can't do anything. If I walk down to the park and back (about a minute from my house) I will feel it! If I go grocery shopping I will feel it. I can't even walk around my neighborhood. Even my FAVORITE work out ZUMBA will have me limping around the house the rest of the day and even the next morning. It's completely getting me down. I need to get out of this FUNK because I KNOW that loosing weight is 80% nutrition!!!!!!!!! I wish knowing that was enough to get me out of my funk. I'm NOT going to give up. I will get back on the horse. I will I will I will. ENOUGH OF THE PITY PARTY RACHEL!!!!!

So that is where I am at. Don't give up on me. Cause I'm not giving up on me...

Don't you just wish there was a magic cure, a magic pill or a magic food? Some sort of secret that will get you where you want to go with your weight loss goals quick and easy. Sigh....

Weighted Walk

I think I'm on to something here. Tonight I decided to change things up a bit. Since I now have tons of heal pain and am so stubborn that I can't give up physically moving my body, I thought I would try something else. Running is something I truly aspire to. I went and got fitted for nice "real" running shoes AND insoles, I've been out a 3 (sometimes more) times a week running (maybe more jogging) for 2 months now and I even did my first 5k. But pretending that everything was okay and would magically go away has now left me limping around every where I go all day long. If you have seen me and haven't seen me limp, I hide it well! I'm diagnosing myself with plantar fasciitis. Basically my right heal aches when I wake up pretty darn bad, I stumble into the bathroom for that first morning pee. It gets better and better as I move around the day. What hurts the most is when I'm on my feet for a while, cooking or what not, and then I take the pressure off my right foot and rest on the top of my toes, the pain is almost blinding. ANYWAYS, so to make a short story LONG, I'm just going to give up running for a while. Literally my heart sunk into my stomach putting that statement in writing. I've worked so hard for 2 months to get up to 3 1/2 miles with out stopping and that is a BIG DEAL for me! But it just has to be done.


I'm starting a new trend. I'm calling it weighted walks. I have two 2.5 lbs wrist weights, so since I can't give up cardo completely, I decided that I would do my usual walk wearing these weights. I really think I'm on to something. It felt GREAT! When I was sure that no one was watching, I was doing all kinds of free weight work outs; dumbbell curl, hammer curl, arm circles, dumbbell row and my favorite shoulder press. There's other great ones I'm sure. When a car would come by I would just walk "granny style" with my arms engaged at a 90 degree angle and really pumped my arms. I was really feelin it! I walked for an hour and wore them the whole time. I'm really curious to find out if I'm going to be sore tomorrow. I will let you know. Here's what they look like if you were wondering. I'm sure any sporting goods store would have them. I can't remember how much they were. Try it =)

Week 8 Results

Down .8 lbs

Totally lame, but not surprising. My motivation is totally slipping. I know that people say that losing weight takes time and you should only lose about 1 to 2 pounds a week. So I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Except for the fact that I'm in a weight loss competition and I'm REALLY slacking. There is 4 weeks left. Just 1 more month to work my buns off and I have made a conscience decision that I'm going to go all out and go HARD! I'm feelin it and I'm gonna do it. I want to know that I gave it all that I had. I can not slack off anymore. I need to forgive myself for the poor choices I have been making lately and get over it so I can move on. Here I go...

Slipping

I'm not gonna lie I'm losing it. And not in a good way. I'm not sure why. I'm losing my motivation. I'm losing my will power. I'm losing my enthusiasm for the competition. Old Rachel habits are starting to make there way back. I'm not about to give up my entire journey. I'm still doing it. I'm still working out 5 times a week (but it was 7 and sometimes it was more than once in a day). I'm still counting calories although I'm not as careful about what I'm eating, but at least I'm still counting and stay with in my goal range. I've stopped drinking ONLY water and started drinking Diet Coke again although only a few times a week, defiantly not everyday. I do believe it to be true that the artificial sweeteners hinder your weight loss efforts. They make me crave more sweet things AND make me want to snack. Just like the "experts" say they do. It's true. I'm also NOT getting enough sleep and it really does make you have the munchies the next day!!! Along with the sleepy muchies, and trying to drink diet coke to stay awake sweet cravings, it is making it impossible to resist snacking. I need to get my drive back and I'm not sure how to do that. So that is why I've decided it's time to make my journey known so that maybe someone will know what to say to help me on this journey. I'm not going to give up (otherwise I wouldn't be writing this) I just want my drive back...

Week 7 Results

Down 1.4 pounds

All I can say is at least it's a loss.

Old habits die hard, even if they aren't yours

I have such a sweet husband!

Yesterday around 5 o'clock I text him to say that I was in a really bad mood, didn't know why, couldn't snap out of it and didn't have anything planned or started for dinner. UGH! So he sweetly wrote back and said that he would go to Safeway and had it covered. (So sweet!) I thought he would get a rotisserie chicken and potato salad or something and call it good, but he got allllll of my favorite things (that were on sale). Take a look, totally healthy right? ha ha

As soon as I saw the brownie mix I had to quickly stuff it into the back of the pantry where I can't see it every time I open the door because that would NOT be a "safe" food for me. Safe meaning that

I could NOT keep my hands off it if I made them. You should always define your "unsafe" foods! Things that make you feel POWERLESS to stop eating them. Those mini cinnamon rolls from Costco, NOT a safe food!

But the thought is what counts! He was trying to show me that he loves me and hopes my day gets better. 6 weeks ago I would have probably made the pizza for dinner AND the brownies for dessert, cracked open the energy drink while the pizza was baking (haven't had one in 3 1/2 years because I have been either pregnant or nursing!) and had the sun chips on the side! It really was sweet! Even though I was having a bad day, when I saw how he wanted to cheer me up, THAT is what cheered me up! Not the food! So I put the food away, knowing that I didn't need or even want them to make me feel better. I thanked him for going to the store instead of get mad at him for getting so much junk food (how could I be mad at him for being so stinkin sweet!?), and made sandwiches for dinner instead. Not diet food, but not too bad either. I just make sure that I type in ALL my calories on myfitnesspal.com so I stay with my calorie range. That, and I only have a half sandwich because 1 slice of bread is 100 calories, so I'd rather save that other 100 calories for something else instead of having 200 calories just in the bread!

Week 6 Results

Down 2.4 lbs

Here it is. The half way mark. Over 21 pounds so far! I'm feeling pretty stinkin amazing! It feels SO great to go shopping for clothes in my own closet! Because I have some great clothes that I haven't been able to wear since before Jacob was born! I now weigh about what I weighed when I got pregnant with him, but the thing is I'm not as small as I was before I had kids (not that I was ever small, but just smaller then I am now). It really does change your body to have children. But that's okay, they where worth it.  I will take the changes that being pregnant has made since it is such a HUGE blessing to be able to have children. I just... i can't even believe it. I'm really doing it. It's really happening. I'm changing my body and changing my life. I'm becoming the person I have always wanted to be. Active, healthy, happy, full of energy (most of the time) and a great example for my children to look up to. I feel so good.

Question: Is it at all weird that I don't have a weight goal in mind? I really don't. I know according to the "chart" for my height and age my healthy weight should be 150. I know to some 150 is their worst nightmare ha ha. But the thing is, when I was at my smallest in high school I didn't weigh that! I was about 175 but I felt pretty darn good about that! I look back at pictures and I think that I look great! The thought of trying to be even smaller then that defiantly scares me, I'm not going to lie to you. It was SO hard for me to even get to 175 in high school. Of course I was doing it the wrong way, trying to not eat very much. But I don't know if I'm going to put a goal on my weight loss. Just like when I go out running, the thought of telling myself that I have to run 3 miles freaks me out for some reason. But when I leave my house and say that I will listen to my body and do the best I can that day, I can do over 3 miles without freaking myself out with thoughts of "that is so far, it's going to take forever, 25 more minutes is SO long from now I can't make it...." So for now and the last 6 weeks, I have been just telling myself that I will make better food choices, smaller portions, and be more active and do the best I can and see where it leads me. That works for me. Maybe not everyone because I think it's the #1 rule in goal setting that you define the end result. It's not that I don't have an idea of where I want to be, I just don't have a number for the scale or even my pants. Maybe that weird, maybe it's not. It sure is working for me.

Goals for the future
Be a Zumba instructor. I haven't a clue on how to do that but I LOVE Zumba SO much that I can totally see myself leading a class! That would be AWESOME!
Run a 10 k with out walking
When the time comes to have a third child, have an active pregnancy (unlike my first 2)
Buy a really good pair of jeans. I have never paid more than $45 on a pair of jeans because I didn't think my butt was worth the money for a nice pair. Plus "nice"jeans don't come in my size!
Never, even when pregnant, see the scale go above 200 ever again. (deep inhale of breath, "did she just said 200?!" yes I did, as if it was a BIG secret! It's written all over my body that I'm heavier then 200 lbs! And if you didn't know eh well now you do)

Munchies
I'm a HUGE muncher! That is one of the big reasons for my weight! As I would go about my day, if there were cereal or crackers around, I would grab a few (or a handful) every time I passed them throughout the day. Which REALLLLLLLY adds up! So what I have done, as many others have done, is make sure that I always have gum in my house. But I go one better, I have 4 different flavors at all times! So I can really mix it up. But you know what, I don't chew gum all day long, just when I feel the desire to have a flavor in my mouth. Do you ever get that? You're not hungry, you just want to taste something. Okay, maybe I'm crazy! ha ha Or I will grab a piece when I'm done eating a meal or a snack but I still have the desire to chew, even though my belly is full. My stomach has gotten smaller, which is awesome, and I can't eat as much as I used to, but sometimes my brain is telling me "there's no way you're done, you haven't chewed enough times" ha ha old habits die hard I guess.

Something crazy is happening to me

Tonight on my run, I actually liked it! And further more.... I didn't want to stop! I-am-not-kidding-you! I wouldn't lie about this. It actually happened to me. After 6 weeks for working out (not just running, many different types workouts) I'm starting to actually enjoy it! It's also getting easier and I'm feeling faster. I really didn't want to stop! The only reason I did was because it was getting really dark out and I'm just not comfortable going by myself when it pitch black. So I have to tell you about it, I walked 1 mile with my parents who were over for dinner then I started my run with out any expectations as to how long I was going to do it. After 1 mile running, I felt pretty good, so I do another. After 2 miles I'm still feeling like I have a lot left in me so I do another mile. After 3 miles, it's almost pitch black outside and getting pretty late BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO STOP! I didn't get that painful stitch in my side. So I keep going a little longer up and down the street my house is on, cause I didn't want to go far being that it was as late as it was. The ONLY reason I came inside was because I was starting to feel crazy running up and down the same street. Let me just tell you, I FEEL GREAT!!!! Physically and most importantly emotionally! I wanted to know if it was possible to become a "runner" and although I wouldn't call myself that yet, I do in fact believe it to be possible for me. And I can not tell you how good it feels to think that, say that and know that. I have never felt to empowered in my entire life and I wish everyone could feel what I am feeling at this moment.

Week 5 Results

Down 3.6 lbs

Sorry, this is a little late, it's friday and weigh ins are on monday. Life has been crazy busy lately, but it's a good thing. I'm feeling amazing! Clothes are starting to fall off, which is always exciting, and old clothes that haven't been worn in 2 years are starting to fit! YAY! Also I'm getting a lot of comments for friends who are starting to notice which is SOOOOO motivating to hear! I'm down about 20 pounds total and couldn't be happier. Everyday its getting easier and easier to stick with it. My cravings aren't as bad for some of the junk food and sweets (although it still seems hard during that time of the month). I physically can't eat as much as I used to. I'm just feeling good. Though the biggest loser challenges aren't that exciting for me the last 2 weeks. But that's okay. Maybe I should just come up with my own challenges. I don't know! =) The only thing that has been REALLLLLLLLLY hard is I'm not sleeping well. As you know I LOVE to run at night and it seems like the nights that I don't, I lay awake in bed FOR HOURS I'm not kidding you 3-4 a.m. not being able to sleep. My only guess is that my body is used to running at night and has SO much energy to burn that it can't fall asleep on the nights I don't go. It's frustrating. I think I either need to change when I run OR never take a day off. Not sure which plan I'm going to go with. I'll let you know.

10 Minutes

No I'm not going to promise you some magical work out that will make you loose 100 pounds if you only sacrifice 10 minutes a day. Sorry.


As a new runner, I have learned something. 10 minutes is about what it takes for my body and get into my groove and just run. As you may remember me mentioning a few times about having some pain in my right heal, 10 minutes is what is seems to take and then it doesn't hurt anymore. It's tough to push past that, I'm not going to lie to you. I try to go out for a run with out ANY expectations as to how long or how far I'm going to run that day because for some reason it stresses me out. I am getting stronger and learning what my body can really handle, but I do listen to my body to tell me what it can take that day (with out being a big whimp). It works for me, I can't say if it would work for everyone. My goal is to run 1 mile without stopping and then I go from there. But it seems that once I push myself past that first 10 minutes of internal arguing "I don't know if I can do it today, this feels really hard today, everything hurts bla bla bla"I have the ability to really GO! Today was a personal record. I ran 3 miles with out stopping! And that for me is AMAZING! I didn't leave the house with that goal in mind, although it was in the back somewhere thinking that that would be great if I could, but it's not what I set out to do. But after that first 10 minutes, I just felt GOOD! SO I kept going till a little after the 3 miles I got that stitch in my side (what IS that by the way!?!) and had to stop, but I kept walking another mile. I have also noticed that my breathing isn't as heavy and my heart isn't jumping out of my chest. You know what that means? It's getting to be the time to step it up so I can keep my heart rate up and burn the most calories possible. And you know what else, I actually said the words today "I can't wait for my run tonight!" I seriously shocked myself the moment after I said it! It's like I wanted to turn around and see who said that behind me! Ha ha! Things are changing for me. Ohhh and you know what else helps, I read this a long time ago and it really stuck with me... While your working out it helps to physically smile, even if you look crazy (which I probably do) but every once in a while, like when it's getting really hard, just smile to your self and think about how good you're doing. There is something about it, it actually helps! Because after I smile I laugh at myself for being such a big dork, but for those few moments, it lightens the mood. Don't think I'm crazy till you try it. Also, and lastly, think good thoughts. Don't think do your self how much is sucks or how hard it is to work out while your working out. That won't help anything. Keep reminding yourself that you're doing an amazing job and you are SO DARN PROUD of your self!

BTW tonight on my run a bug TOTALLY flew into my mouth and I mean ALLLLL the way in and hit the back of my throat! YUCK! Don't worry, I spit it out, but still, gross!

Stressed spelled backwards = desserts

Didn't ya know? I think that is every over weight/emotional eaters motto, is it not? I'm sitting here typing this eating a marshmallow I'll have you know. I had to deal with some stressful things today that I'm not going to get into on here and yesterday I did something to my shoulder/back and had what I think is a pinched nerve or muscle and was in a lot of pain. It's causing me to reach for things that I KNOW I shouldn't! I'm dealing with stress by eating and that makes me MORE stressed and is making me eat MORE! UGH! 7 days ago I was doing SO GOOD! Now...... not at all. Oh well, momma said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my momma said.

Week 4 Results

Down 1.8lbs

It's not bad. I was down more, but there is nothing like a road trip to totally ruin your weight loss efforts. My little family decided to go on an extremely last minute road trip. Literately we decided to go and where gone in less then 3 hours. CRAZY! We never do stuff like that, but it was the fourth of July so we decided to give it a go. I'm a little bummed because I had the best week of my entire life eating and working out, and then went to on the road food and no working out for 4 days. I think I would have lost more if it weren't for that. But oh well. I did try to eat okay. I wasn't back to "old" Rachel but it also wasn't "new" Rachel. I've learned that marshmallows are NOT a "safe" food for me. I canNOT say no to a marshmallow! UGH! Especially on the fourth of July. Since we have gotten back I have had the WORSE munches! I'll get back on track. I understand that this is life. I'm changing my life style and holidays come up. Like I said, I didn't completely let my self go and I am proud of myself.

My heal still hurts. I really WANT to become a runner so I'm not going to give up. Last night I tried to jog a little and not only did my heal still hurt but my back and shoulders are out of whack due to VERY uncomfortable sleeping arrangements during our trip. I WANT to get to the point where running feels good. My question for the universe is... Can anyone become a "runner?" My definition of a runner is someone who can run with out feeling like they are gonna die after a few short minutes and then KILL the selves just to run for the amount of time or distance they set out to fun for AND a runner is someone who actually LIKES to run. I have NEVER gotten to that point in my life where I like working out and I'm curious if it is possible for anyone to become that type of person. Know what I mean. There is something that I LOVE to do and that is ZUMBA! It is SOOOO fun for me! I would do it everyday and  that makes getting a gym membership really tempting! It's such a great work out, it's SO FUN and the time goes by CRAZY fast! I love it! Maybe that is "my thing" where as running isn't. I could even see myself an instructor. I think that would be so extremely fun!

Week 3 Results

Down 4.4! WOO HOO! 13.2 pounds so far
I'm feelin so good and starting to notice my clothes getting looser. Just a little bit, but I'll TAKE IT! This week I worked pretty hard! I did a lot more strength training then I have done in the first 2 weeks. That really makes a difference. It's not all about cardio my friends. When you strengthen your muscles, they burn more calories when you are just SITTING there, like right now me writing on my blog and you reading my blog. PLUS when you strength train you keep burning calories for much  longer after you are done, then you would if you just did cardio. But I am also stepping up my cardio. Starting today. I walk/jogged for 90 minutes pushing the stroller and AT LEAST half of the time was spend jogging! That's a lot for me! I'm feeling pretty AMAZING right now! I just feel like I'm really doin it, it's really happening. I'm finally loosing weight! This week I'm also stepping up in the nutrition department! I'm not going to do anything extreme like a few of my friends. Example no flour or sugar. That's great for them, but I want to loose weight and keep it off and I'm too afraid that if I cut out too much that I will gain it all back once I start eating those things again. Which happens to people a lot. I'm not going to say that I'm never going to do that, maybe the last month just to insure my WINNING, but for now I feel like I'm doing TOO good with what I'm doing. I'm going to keep it up and step it up a little more. I'm in this! I GOT this!

Something random that I learned this past week. Step ups are an AMAZING work out!!! Part of the challenge was counting sets of 10 reps that we were doing so example 100 step ups = 10 points. I get so dang sweaty and tired for those set ups. And I just use the stairs at my house, I don't use the stair climber at a gym but I bet it's awesome for burning calories. 2 different days I did 1000 step ups each.
A-MAZING, at least I think so. I was DRIPPING with sweat! I recommend switching legs after each 50 so they each get the same workout and it makes it a little easier.

Things I never thought I would love.
Roasted cauliflower! YUMMMM! I eat the whole thing by my self. Cut it up in florets, mix with 2 T extra virgin olive oil salt and pepper and roast for 45 minutes at 350 turning a few times. I LOVE it! Also brussel sprouts same thing, and it's actually really good.
Zumba, I think I have mentioned this before, but I LOVE IT! It's my favorite work out by FAR and now tuesdays and thursdays are my favorite days of the week and I don't let anything keep me from these workouts.
My new Brooks running shoes! I went to an actual running store and was evaluated for running shoes and insoles. It has taken me a few walk/jogs to get used to them because it's much more support then I'm used to. I walk around bare foot all day chasing my kids around. So I had to build up to wearing them. But today I worked out in them for 90 minutes and they did pretty good. By the end my toes where a little sore but my heal is feeling better. Not 100% but much much better.

Week 2 Results

I'm down .8 lbs. Not great, but I KNEW week 2 would be hard. I'm NOT giving up though. I'm not even discouraged! I'm working HARD and I KNOW it will pay off! There is now way it WONT! It's has to. That's how our bodies work.

What's workin for me:

Tracking ALL my calories, the good, bad and the ugly, on myfitnesspal.com
Running at night, I don't stay out past 10:15 because when it's too dark it does freak me out
ZUMBA! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ZUMBA!!!!!!!! There is a free class offered at my church tuesday and every other thursday and I am ALLLLLLLLLLL over that! I LOVE IT!
Owning 2 5lbs dumbbells so I can do strength training at home, at this point I don't think I'm going to get a gym membership, I'm doing too well on my own
Long walks with the kids in the stroller
I love munching on the long carrots from the store, they are sweeter to me and I probably look like a rabbit, but it's fun and about 30 calories, I don't know, I just like it
I love the new laughing cow cheese, garlic and herb is my favorite! 35 calories a wedge
Water water water, I LOVE water. I'm not drinking anything BUT water (except one diet coke that I shared with my husband)
I love to have grapefruit in the morning
I also LOVE LOVE LOVE pineapple! 75 calories for a cup of chopped pineapple, great snack!

Things that are NOT working for me:

Yoga, I'm NOT a yoga person! Not At All!
Pushups, not a fan of pushups, I will still do them occasionally, but it's not my go to for strength
My old running shoes! They are like 6 years old or OLDER I can't remember.
My different pains from getting back into shape. First it was my left second toe (it's longer then by big toe) and I would curl my toe under when I ran and it felt like a big bruise when I was done. Then it was my knees, then it was the arch of my right foot and NOW it's my whole right heal! It hurst SO BAD! When I wake up in the morning, I can barely even limp on it, I'm not kidding. It feels like the heal bone is trying to squish out the bottom of my foot. and it slowly hurts less and less and by the end of the day it's just a dull ache so I go running at night again. I really don't know what to do. I'm just hoping it goes away at this point.
Peanut butter, I cannot just have 2 table spoons (which is 200 calories!!! Yikes) I want WAY more then that. It's just not a safe food
MONDAY weigh ins is THE hardest part of the whole competition! Which is good because it challenges me not to take the weekend off. It's just that when my husband has the weekend off, we want to go somewhere which means eating on the go which means not very healthy options. OR we have had people ever every weekend for dinners and for some reason I cannot control myself. I don't know what it is. It's like I don't want to hurt their feelings by not eating as much as they do. It feels like I'm telling them that they are fat or that they eat too much. I NEED to control that MUCH better.

Week 2 exercise Challenge

Every week there are 2 different set of challenges. Exercise and Healthy habits. This weeks healthy habits was to clean out our pantry of all junk and processed foods and challenge out selves to eat natural foods. Still workin on that one. But the exercise challenge was a fitness test. I just want to write my results here so that I can come back to them in a few weeks when the challenge comes up again and compare.

1. How many crunches can you do in 2 minutes?
2. How many push ups (girl if you have to) can you do in 2 minutes?
3. How long can you hold a wall squat?
4. How long does it take you to do 150 step ups with out stopping?
5. How many jumping jacks can you do in 2 minutes?

Answers:
1. 79
2. 45
3. 2:15
4. 3:55
5. 130

Kind of exciting to do things like this so you can look back and see how far you have come. I really can't wait to do it again and compare! And I am excited to do another 5k and see if I can get a better time. But with that being said, I haven't ran since monday (tonight's thursday) because it hurts my right knee so bad. So I've decided that instead of killing myself and limping around, that I would stick with briskly walking with the stroller for longer periods of time to get my body used to moving me, and then I would give jogging another try in a few weeks. I don't want to give up on it. It just hurts so bad. I can't even explain the pain. It just aches so much. But I'm not going to let it stop me. I'm in this. I did have a hard day on monday, and I am doing the #1 thing you should NOT do when your trying to lose weight, I'm weighing myself every day and getting really discouraged that it has actually gone UP 2 pounds! I knew coming into this that week 2 is always the hardest. I need to just have a good weekend, good meaning no cheating on my or eating the wrong calories, and it really will be okay. It's going to take time. I really want to start running, but I'll wait for my knees sake.

Discouragment

I'm feeling very discouraged even thought I should be feeling proud and excited. I lost 8 pounds! I should be happy! That's great! And I know that's good, but man, I'm just not feelin it. There are a couple of things getting me down.

1. I feel burnt out
2. I'm sore all the time
3. I'm tired all the time
4. I'm hungry a lot (not all the time but a lot)
5. with all of that, I have a very short fuse and am not being very nice to live with.
6. A serious comment from someone on a different team.

Right now I feel so weak. I barley have the energy to type this. I just want to curl up on the couch and sleep. I'm not sure why. Is it because I'm not eating enough? Did I not sleep well. Am I burnt out? If I am burn out, is this feeling going to pass? Is it crazy to feel so exhausted and burnt out after only 1 week???

Yesterday, someone from another biggest loser team said to me, very seriously "I'm not going to lie, I don't think you're a threat. Sorry" I can handle trash talk. I love it. I love to give it and its motivating to take it. But this wasn't trash talk. She meant it. I'm not a threat. Does that mean everyone looks at me and doesn't think I can do it? It felt like she just told me that I couldn't do it. A stranger telling you that they don't think you can do it is one thing. It's easy to blow off because they don't really know you. They don't know what you're made of or what you're capable of. But a friend telling you, it's pretty devastating. It's really been getting me down ever since.

I'm NOT going to give up! I just need to find the energy to pick my self up and keep going. I think I just need to have a nice dinner tonight that isn't diet, but isn't too bad for you and start again tomorrow with a better since of why I'm doing this and how to do it healthy, with out being as extreme as I was this past week but still working hard. I need to find that balance.

Week 1 results

Pounds lost: 8
Minutes worked out: 450
Feelings: discouraged even though I would be proud

5k

Time: 43:53

This morning was the BIG 5k. I could NOT sleep last night! I even woke up an hour early this morning. I tried to go back to sleep, but by 6:45 I gave up and got ready. I can not even tell you how nervous I was. I really haven't been that nervous in a long time! I'm not gonna lie to you, it was tough! For a few different reasons, but mainly because I'm not in good shape... yet. It was a lot to do this soon in this competition. I did jog the first 2 miles without stopping (and NOT at my slow pace, so it was a killer!) then I walked for a little while, probably 1/2 a mile, but not just walking "granny power walking" if you know what I'm talking about and then I jogged the rest. I feel really good about it, now that the dead tired, sore and starving feelings have gone away.

Things I learned:
1. Don't wear Josh's old white t-shirts, they look terrible on me because the shoulder seem is halfway to my elbow and makes my arms look even fatter. Always wear shirts designed for girls!
2. I need to remeasure the distance around my neighborhood that I thought was 2 miles because it was tough making it the 2, but there are some other factors that made it tough too
3. My jogging pace is really really slow
4. I might be more of a solo runner because I tried to keep up with my friend and that way SO hard on me because she is in MUCH better shape then I am and I know I held her back. We split up at the half way mark and I'm completely okay with that because I knew she wanted to do her best.
5. Gravel is defiantly harder to run on then cement
6. Even the slightest incline while running makes it much tougher. The trail by the lake that we ran on is pretty long and so we jogged to the halfway marker and came back to the church to finish the race and coming back was SO TOUGH because you were jogging up hill the whole way back.
7. Costco muffins are 690 calories. They had water, banana and muffins at the finish line and I probably didn't even burn that many calories while jogging, no thanks! And even if I did burn that many calories, I just worked my BUNS OFF! I'm not about to undo all that hard work with a muffin
8. Don't forget when you sign up to clean the church!
9. I need new running shoes. Mine make my second toe on my left foot hurt and I got 2 blisters on that foot. Boo
10. I have the most amazing friends!

The 5k (it was also a 10K and 2 crazy fast runners finished their 10k before I finished my 5)) was put together by some people at my church. So we met at the church building and the lake trail is right off the back of the parking lot. Well, after the race, a friend of mine came up to me and said "did you remember your family signed up to clean the building?" Darn! So after the race I downed my water and half a banana and even though I was sweaty and tired, I cleaned the church for 2 hours! When I got home, I was completely dead. No energy. Useless. It was so many things combined, running to fast, not being in great shape, not eating enough and not sleeping the night before. I was a B when I got home and it made me wonder if doing all this is really worth it. I don't want to take out my frustration and extreme soreness on my family. I love my family. More than anything else in the world. But after I got some rest, ate more than I normally do in the competition, and took it easy, I'm feeling much better. At the end of the day I'm really proud of myself and I'm go glad that I did this! I will probably do it again to see if I can get a better time! But I think I need to slow down a little bit. I'm doing way too much too fast. This is a LONG journey to lose all this weight. I don't want to burn out so I need to pace myself every day. I didn't put the weigh on over night and it's not going to come off over night either. BTW I still LOVE my sports bra! This thing is AMAZING!

Lined up, ready to race!

This is one of my very best friends

Love her like crazy!

(I look pregnant!)

Didn't realize I stuck my chin out that much when I run

Right after I was done (she finished way before me)

Look how RED I am! ha ha Even my THUMB is red!

My new favorite shirt! I earned that baby!

wish it said 5k on it

My blisters =/

Great experience! One for the books! Or blog hee hee

Committed

Incase you were wondering, I didn't end up doing a run again last night. I didn't want to push myself too hard too fast. And my whole body was so sore. So I went to the store to get great "diet" food and snacks for my kids so they don't disown me for all the diet cooking that has been going on here lately. I did get up in the morning yesterday and jog 2 miles (with out stopping) in a little over 20 minutes, not bad for a beginner, and I went for a 60 minute walk with the kids so I felt totally fine not going. Then today I walk/jogged my BUTT off for 80 minutes!!! I worked so hard, let me tell you! There are a few pretty darn steep hills, steeper then I believe a treadmill can incline, and I went up and down those several times! Pushing 55lbs or more of baby weight in their stroller. It's a really great work out for the buns!

So, about my title, you want to know what I'm committed to doing tomorrow??? I can hardly believe that I am doing this. Makes my heart race out of nervousness just thinking about it. Never ever attempted in my life. MORE then that, NEVER thought I would ever WANT to attempt it. (Is that enough of a build up?) I'm jogging in my very first 5K! WHAT AM I THINKING! It's probably the best one I could sign up for because it's through my church, so it's with tons of people I know (maybe that's not such a good thing for them to see me at my absolute worst; sweating and panting and giggling ...oh my... ha ha) and it's also a walk/jog/run with people also doing a 10K. So I know that I wont be coming in dead last because there will be the 10K group that hopefully will finish AFTER me. I have really been debating doing this because it just seems like something you would do AFTER your weight loss slash get in better shape journey, not in the first WEEK! But I have so much support, and my friends have been giving me great advice and encouragement. One in particular said to me that this would be a great opportunity to compare my progress,  like a before and after kind of thing. And she RIGHT... again! This is the same girl that told me to run at night, she has NO idea how much her advice is really changing my life. So, here I go. Doing something I NEVER thought I would do. Crazy... in a good way.

Crazy!

I'm taking this whole journey one day at a time because the thought of making a schedule example: you have to workout every morning at 7, it just overwhelms me for some reason. Maybe that is easier for some, probably is. But It's just not for me as of yet. I go day by day with how I'm feeling and what my family has going on that day. So I already blogged about how I went jogging last night and LOVED it. Well I got up this morning and was awake about 45 minutes before my kids wake up, so what did I do? I went jogging again! I don't know if it was because I was sore from the night before, which I actually didn't feel that sore, or if there really IS something do this jogging at night thing that I have discovered because it really WAS easier last night. But I still pushed it to the end and jogged 2 miles without stopping because I did it the night before so that meant I was capable of it. My knee did hut so I'm going to have to figure out what to do about that. I plan on going to again tonight to see if it was just a fluke or to see if this is something I really enjoy. And of course I will let you know. But don't think I stopped there my friends. Oh no. Even though I jogged 2 miles this morning, I still went out walking with the kids for an hour! Woo hoo! It was a little slow because I went we a friend of mine and of course we just chatted the whole time, but that's fine with me. It still felt good to be out moving my body around. I'm defiantly feeling pretty good about my progress so far.

An EXCITING first!

For the very first time in my life I went jogging at night! Don't worry, it wasn't pitch black, it was at 9 and in the summer there is still plenty of light. I took the advice from a friend of mine and she was right! There is just something about it! It's nice and cool (but not too cool because it's June not December), it's kinda dark, there's no one around and you can't really see how far away your house is, so you just go. I actually LOVED it! I went 2 MILES without stopping once! ME! I did that! Seriously! I'm SOOOO pumped right now! I'm taking this competition DOWN! I just got back incase you couldn't tell. I guess there is such a thing as runners high. Who knew!

I also did TWO, that's right 2, Jillian Michael's DVD's. She kicks your butt! I'm telling you! I never thought I could work that hard and sweat that much to a workout DVD. Of course I have never tried P90X, I hear that is pretty intense.

I'm feeling SO good about myself right now! I can't even tell you! And my sweet husband got me a new tire for my stroller so I can take the kids out for a walk, jog, run WHATEVER because I CAN! ha ha I might just get addicted to this hobby if I'm not careful!

Unmentionibles

Does anyone know what I'm talking about when I say unmentionables? Well, incase you have never heard of it before unmentionables also known as your underwear. We called it that as a youth, but I'm not sure if it is a known thing or just something we did cause we thought we were clever. Anyways, I just wanted to take a second and say how much I LOVE my sports bra! Not that I am an expert by any means. Truth be told I have probably only tried on three in my life time. But the one I'm wearing now is from Victoria's Secret and it is A-MAZING! Seriously! I'm always surprised when I wear it at how good it keeps those girls locked and loaded. There is NO giggling, no bouncing and very comfortable. I just love it! Now if only I get a change to really use it, that would be fantastic! My tire on my stroller is still flat. We tried pumping air in it but it went flat again so it needs a new tire and we have been so busy that I'm not sure when I will get it. Boo. I really want to get outside! If it stops raining, I might use my old single stroller and put my 14 month old in the bejorn because she still fits. The up side is I feel like I'm burning more calories having the bejorn on, but the down side is I can't jog at all cause I don't want to give her shaking baby syndrome from being on my chest bouncing up and down. So I guess it's another day of work out DVDs hoping that will be enough. My teammates and racking up the minutes in this weeks challenge (we have to track all our minutes for points for our team this week) and I KNOW I'm not pulling my weight (so to speak). Here's hoping for a better week

So irritated right now!

This morning I thought I would give Zumba a try and let me tell you, it was SO FUN for the freakin SONG AND A HALF that my daughter let me try till she would just scream to be held!!!!! UGH!!!!!! There is a free class with a few really good and actual teachers, that is offered at the church building tue and thur mornings. Half of the gym is blocked off and kids just run around and play. I thought Jacob would try to escape the whole time but he LOVED it! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYED! Because not only was that a freakin waste of time (I almost broke down a cried watching all the other moms have fun a get in shape while I just watch, the story of my life) BUT when I got home I was going to strap them in to the BOB and go for a run to blow off my frustration but there was a FREAKING flat tire! Are you kidding me! I just broke down. Full on balling my eyes out. I'm still so mad. I just want to get in shape so badly. I don't want this to make me give up or make me fall behind in the competition. We have to get that fixed tonight!

The First Official Day

Today is the start of the 12 week competition. I have a whole mix of feelings; competitive, anxious, excited, worried; all that and more. It's a huge life style change. For the third day in a row I know that I'm not eating enough. I'm just so afraid of messing up, opening up the flood gates, and not being able to stop myself from eating. I've learned that the hungry feeling actually goes away if you give it time. Not that it's fun or easy. But just something I've noticed. We found out our teams last night. I do have good people on my team, but I will say that 2 of the 4 people are already what I consider to be a great shape. I think they are just trying to get the motivation to loss those last extra pounds. I'm not sure but I think that they are pretty active as well. Like "runners" active. I guess I should call them and find out. Anyway, I think I just need to take this one day at a time for right now because the thought of working out as hard as I already have done today kinda overwhelms me.

Today I have walk/jogged for an hour while pushing the stroller and I really pushed myself a lot more then when I did it 2 days ago. Plus it was for a half hour longer then before. And I wore these 2.5 lb wrist weights around the house for 2.5 hours while I did my normal thing. It really made my arms burn, and I like it! And I did some dumbbell arm work outs. I KNOW that I'm going to be SO SORE tomorrow because I'm already sore and stiff. And I did 20 minutes of my little 5 lb (with the 2.5 lbs wrist weights) dumbbells strength training at home.

I have to admit that I have only had half of a grapefruit and a salad with quinoa, black beans and (salsa for dressing). That's it. And it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I know that's not enough. But I'm starting to cook a nice and healthy dinner. I need to find that balance. To stretch out my calories evenly all day. I have drank TONS of water today. And man, our water bill is going to go up for ALL the times I have flushed the toilet! You really have to go a lot when you're drinking more water.

The End of the First

So, today went pretty well I think. I ate too few calories because I was constantly worried that I was going to mess up. Either by miss counting something (thinking it was less calories than it actually was) or that I was going to go crazy and eat all my calories before dinner so then I would go to bed starving. I REALLY recommend myfitnesspal.com! I LOVE it! It's so great and easy and it's also FREE app on my iphone so I can update my food intake and fitness anywhere.

What I ate:
I had half of a grapefruit (it was huge) and a half of a homemade pancake (it was what I fed my family for breakfast so I had to try a little) for breakfast, a salad at the salad bar in Whole Foods, (barely any dressing, like almost non cause I didn't want to over due it. Plenty of bites had no dressing) and a banana for lunch, marinated chicken, homemade mash potatoes and roasted asparagus for dinner. Oh and carrots, the other half of the grapefruit and light yogurt for snacks. Plus TONS of water. I forgot how much you have to go to the bathroom when you are trying to drink more water!


What I did:
In the early evening I took the kids out for a walk/jog in the amazing BOB stroller Josh bought me for my birthday. I LOVE that thing! It's a nice stroller! I was out for a little over 30 minutes. It was about 2 miles, probably a little less. I would have gone more but my shoes are crappy and the make my toes go numb and hurt SO BAD! I NEED to shoes crazy bad! By the end I'm seriously walking on my heals trying not to put any weight on the toes on my right foot. Sucks. I feel really good about today though! I know I'm going to be good a sore tomorrow, but I like it! hee hee I earned it.

And So It Begins

I went this morning, weighed and measured, paid my $30 and listened to the rules. I'm IN! And I'm strangely calm about the whole thing. I'm ready though. It's time.

Now off to the store to get healthy food.

For breakfast I had half a grapefruit and half a pancake with water

It starts

The Night Before

Here I am, the night before the first weigh in and I'm scared. I know that I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. When I was in high school, and yes I have to go back 10 years cause I haven't done anything like it since, in PE I had a pretty tough teacher. She didn't let us slack off at all. She pushed us good and hard. In fact, she made me cry 3 times senior year, but that's a whole different blog post. I can still remember when the PE teacher had us outside on the track, all huddled together about to start our big run, my heart would race. Like Crazy! She didn't just have us run for the whole period, she would give us challenges. Such as, run the first how ever many laps without stopping and you get a B but if you continue to walk/jog the whole time you get an A and if you ran the whole time without stopping you get extra credit. I don't know why, but I was always nervous. Is anyone else? I would think to myself, can I do this? Will I fail in front of all these classmates? Will my side cramp up and cause me so much pain I give up? Will I come in last? Will this bring down my GPA if I don't get a good grade (not that my GPA was anything to write home about, but how fat or lazy do you sound if you don't get an A in PE?) I was afraid. As we started our run it didn't take long to get over the fear and just go, but every time we were lined out on the track my heart would still hammer on my chest. And I mean HARD! THAT is what I'm feeling tonight.

I'm about to start a weight loss competition. For the next 12 weeks I will be on a team of 3 other people and the biggest loser gets money and the winning team gets money too. But honestly, I hadn't even thought about the money till I wrote it just now. I don't care about the money. Honestly. I care about weather or not I can actually do this. I've never been what one would call "fit." The summer before my senior year of high school I did drop a lot of weigh. I tried to not eat. I wouldn't call it anorexic, but I stuck to slim fast and string cheese. And I felt pretty good about my self. It was so fun to walk into a store and buy a medium size and it FIT! But even at my smallest I was still a size 10 and for some people the thought of being a 10 makes them want to go run 10 miles. That's NOT that small. It's not big either. I'm just trying to say that I've NEVER been what the "chart" considers to be a health weight. And I want to change that.

A dear friend of mine listed, as a way of giving up her excuses, to not be in shape and I thought that was a great idea! So here I go too.
Rachel's biggest excuses for being the size I am

1. Time, I feel like I just don't have the time. Having 2 kids so young and close in age takes up most of my time.
2. I am Type A Emotional Eater. But more then that;
     I eat when I'm tired (sometimes when the kids get me up early and I'm exhausted my second thought after they are awake I need to get up now, is but at least I can go down stairs and eat.)
     I eat to celebrate. When I accomplish something like cleaning the house or planting my garden, I want to reward myself with a treat. Or when someone else accomplishes something I want to bake them something and give it to them.
     I eat when I'm stressed out. This is when I reach for sweets, usually chocolate.
     I eat when I'm sad. Pastries get me here
     Comfort
I could probably go on and on about emotional eating, but I'm actually getting too down writing it, so you're probably getting too down reading it. Sorry. It gets better, keep reading.
3. It's too hard to track every little thing you put into your mouth, I don't want to have to worry about it that much. I'm just going to be fat and happy. Well,  how's that workin out for ya when your "fat" close are getting tight?
4. I'm so far from the "charts" weight for my heigh and age and truth be told I wasn't that light when I was a teen. It seems impossible.
5. My hair. So silly right? I know, but it is a big excuse! It takes me so long to do my hair but when it's done it's good for the next 3-4. I don't have time to style my hair everyday and it would damage my hair to straighten it that often. And I DO NOT have wet and wear hair. Some people do and COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS but I am not one of those women. Unless it were 1980! Man, I would have the BEST hair! Cause it's naturally BIG and wavy.
6. I'm the biggest snacker/grazer EVER! Some days I don't actually eat a meal! No lie!
7. I have the worst sweet tooth!

There ya go, you can have em. Those are my excuses and I'm done with them.

Here's Rachel's Plan for Success
~Join the Maple Valley Biggest Loser
~Join and Gym and work out at night after the kids go to bed
~Strength training as well as cardio at the gym
~Go for walks during the day with the kids
~Go to the work out class at church Tue and Thur (if kids permit)
~Do Jillian Michael's videos during the day
~Log all my food and exercise on myfitnesspal.com
~Journal/blog about my journey
~Fresh fruit and Veggies as much as possible
~Quinoa, salad and chicken for lunches and dinners
~Light yogurt, jello and skinny cow ice cream bars for sweet fix
~Only drink water
~No eating after 8
~ASK for help and encouragement and encourage others
~Exceed ALL Biggest Loser Weekly Challenges
~Make a new nonfood Reward System

I know that it's not going to be easy but I'm ready. I am ready.

Ready

Set

Go