Friday, July 29, 2011
Slipping
I'm not gonna lie I'm losing it. And not in a good way. I'm not sure why. I'm losing my motivation. I'm losing my will power. I'm losing my enthusiasm for the competition. Old Rachel habits are starting to make there way back. I'm not about to give up my entire journey. I'm still doing it. I'm still working out 5 times a week (but it was 7 and sometimes it was more than once in a day). I'm still counting calories although I'm not as careful about what I'm eating, but at least I'm still counting and stay with in my goal range. I've stopped drinking ONLY water and started drinking Diet Coke again although only a few times a week, defiantly not everyday. I do believe it to be true that the artificial sweeteners hinder your weight loss efforts. They make me crave more sweet things AND make me want to snack. Just like the "experts" say they do. It's true. I'm also NOT getting enough sleep and it really does make you have the munchies the next day!!! Along with the sleepy muchies, and trying to drink diet coke to stay awake sweet cravings, it is making it impossible to resist snacking. I need to get my drive back and I'm not sure how to do that. So that is why I've decided it's time to make my journey known so that maybe someone will know what to say to help me on this journey. I'm not going to give up (otherwise I wouldn't be writing this) I just want my drive back...
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Old habits die hard, even if they aren't yours
I have such a sweet husband!
Yesterday around 5 o'clock I text him to say that I was in a really bad mood, didn't know why, couldn't snap out of it and didn't have anything planned or started for dinner. UGH! So he sweetly wrote back and said that he would go to Safeway and had it covered. (So sweet!) I thought he would get a rotisserie chicken and potato salad or something and call it good, but he got allllll of my favorite things (that were on sale). Take a look, totally healthy right? ha ha
As soon as I saw the brownie mix I had to quickly stuff it into the back of the pantry where I can't see it every time I open the door because that would NOT be a "safe" food for me. Safe meaning that
I could NOT keep my hands off it if I made them. You should always define your "unsafe" foods! Things that make you feel POWERLESS to stop eating them. Those mini cinnamon rolls from Costco, NOT a safe food!
But the thought is what counts! He was trying to show me that he loves me and hopes my day gets better. 6 weeks ago I would have probably made the pizza for dinner AND the brownies for dessert, cracked open the energy drink while the pizza was baking (haven't had one in 3 1/2 years because I have been either pregnant or nursing!) and had the sun chips on the side! It really was sweet! Even though I was having a bad day, when I saw how he wanted to cheer me up, THAT is what cheered me up! Not the food! So I put the food away, knowing that I didn't need or even want them to make me feel better. I thanked him for going to the store instead of get mad at him for getting so much junk food (how could I be mad at him for being so stinkin sweet!?), and made sandwiches for dinner instead. Not diet food, but not too bad either. I just make sure that I type in ALL my calories on myfitnesspal.com so I stay with my calorie range. That, and I only have a half sandwich because 1 slice of bread is 100 calories, so I'd rather save that other 100 calories for something else instead of having 200 calories just in the bread!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Week 6 Results
Down 2.4 lbs
Here it is. The half way mark. Over 21 pounds so far! I'm feeling pretty stinkin amazing! It feels SO great to go shopping for clothes in my own closet! Because I have some great clothes that I haven't been able to wear since before Jacob was born! I now weigh about what I weighed when I got pregnant with him, but the thing is I'm not as small as I was before I had kids (not that I was ever small, but just smaller then I am now). It really does change your body to have children. But that's okay, they where worth it. I will take the changes that being pregnant has made since it is such a HUGE blessing to be able to have children. I just... i can't even believe it. I'm really doing it. It's really happening. I'm changing my body and changing my life. I'm becoming the person I have always wanted to be. Active, healthy, happy, full of energy (most of the time) and a great example for my children to look up to. I feel so good.
Question: Is it at all weird that I don't have a weight goal in mind? I really don't. I know according to the "chart" for my height and age my healthy weight should be 150. I know to some 150 is their worst nightmare ha ha. But the thing is, when I was at my smallest in high school I didn't weigh that! I was about 175 but I felt pretty darn good about that! I look back at pictures and I think that I look great! The thought of trying to be even smaller then that defiantly scares me, I'm not going to lie to you. It was SO hard for me to even get to 175 in high school. Of course I was doing it the wrong way, trying to not eat very much. But I don't know if I'm going to put a goal on my weight loss. Just like when I go out running, the thought of telling myself that I have to run 3 miles freaks me out for some reason. But when I leave my house and say that I will listen to my body and do the best I can that day, I can do over 3 miles without freaking myself out with thoughts of "that is so far, it's going to take forever, 25 more minutes is SO long from now I can't make it...." So for now and the last 6 weeks, I have been just telling myself that I will make better food choices, smaller portions, and be more active and do the best I can and see where it leads me. That works for me. Maybe not everyone because I think it's the #1 rule in goal setting that you define the end result. It's not that I don't have an idea of where I want to be, I just don't have a number for the scale or even my pants. Maybe that weird, maybe it's not. It sure is working for me.
Goals for the future
Be a Zumba instructor. I haven't a clue on how to do that but I LOVE Zumba SO much that I can totally see myself leading a class! That would be AWESOME!
Run a 10 k with out walking
When the time comes to have a third child, have an active pregnancy (unlike my first 2)
Buy a really good pair of jeans. I have never paid more than $45 on a pair of jeans because I didn't think my butt was worth the money for a nice pair. Plus "nice"jeans don't come in my size!
Never, even when pregnant, see the scale go above 200 ever again. (deep inhale of breath, "did she just said 200?!" yes I did, as if it was a BIG secret! It's written all over my body that I'm heavier then 200 lbs! And if you didn't know eh well now you do)
Munchies
I'm a HUGE muncher! That is one of the big reasons for my weight! As I would go about my day, if there were cereal or crackers around, I would grab a few (or a handful) every time I passed them throughout the day. Which REALLLLLLLY adds up! So what I have done, as many others have done, is make sure that I always have gum in my house. But I go one better, I have 4 different flavors at all times! So I can really mix it up. But you know what, I don't chew gum all day long, just when I feel the desire to have a flavor in my mouth. Do you ever get that? You're not hungry, you just want to taste something. Okay, maybe I'm crazy! ha ha Or I will grab a piece when I'm done eating a meal or a snack but I still have the desire to chew, even though my belly is full. My stomach has gotten smaller, which is awesome, and I can't eat as much as I used to, but sometimes my brain is telling me "there's no way you're done, you haven't chewed enough times" ha ha old habits die hard I guess.
Here it is. The half way mark. Over 21 pounds so far! I'm feeling pretty stinkin amazing! It feels SO great to go shopping for clothes in my own closet! Because I have some great clothes that I haven't been able to wear since before Jacob was born! I now weigh about what I weighed when I got pregnant with him, but the thing is I'm not as small as I was before I had kids (not that I was ever small, but just smaller then I am now). It really does change your body to have children. But that's okay, they where worth it. I will take the changes that being pregnant has made since it is such a HUGE blessing to be able to have children. I just... i can't even believe it. I'm really doing it. It's really happening. I'm changing my body and changing my life. I'm becoming the person I have always wanted to be. Active, healthy, happy, full of energy (most of the time) and a great example for my children to look up to. I feel so good.
Question: Is it at all weird that I don't have a weight goal in mind? I really don't. I know according to the "chart" for my height and age my healthy weight should be 150. I know to some 150 is their worst nightmare ha ha. But the thing is, when I was at my smallest in high school I didn't weigh that! I was about 175 but I felt pretty darn good about that! I look back at pictures and I think that I look great! The thought of trying to be even smaller then that defiantly scares me, I'm not going to lie to you. It was SO hard for me to even get to 175 in high school. Of course I was doing it the wrong way, trying to not eat very much. But I don't know if I'm going to put a goal on my weight loss. Just like when I go out running, the thought of telling myself that I have to run 3 miles freaks me out for some reason. But when I leave my house and say that I will listen to my body and do the best I can that day, I can do over 3 miles without freaking myself out with thoughts of "that is so far, it's going to take forever, 25 more minutes is SO long from now I can't make it...." So for now and the last 6 weeks, I have been just telling myself that I will make better food choices, smaller portions, and be more active and do the best I can and see where it leads me. That works for me. Maybe not everyone because I think it's the #1 rule in goal setting that you define the end result. It's not that I don't have an idea of where I want to be, I just don't have a number for the scale or even my pants. Maybe that weird, maybe it's not. It sure is working for me.
Goals for the future
Be a Zumba instructor. I haven't a clue on how to do that but I LOVE Zumba SO much that I can totally see myself leading a class! That would be AWESOME!
Run a 10 k with out walking
When the time comes to have a third child, have an active pregnancy (unlike my first 2)
Buy a really good pair of jeans. I have never paid more than $45 on a pair of jeans because I didn't think my butt was worth the money for a nice pair. Plus "nice"jeans don't come in my size!
Never, even when pregnant, see the scale go above 200 ever again. (deep inhale of breath, "did she just said 200?!" yes I did, as if it was a BIG secret! It's written all over my body that I'm heavier then 200 lbs! And if you didn't know eh well now you do)
Munchies
I'm a HUGE muncher! That is one of the big reasons for my weight! As I would go about my day, if there were cereal or crackers around, I would grab a few (or a handful) every time I passed them throughout the day. Which REALLLLLLLY adds up! So what I have done, as many others have done, is make sure that I always have gum in my house. But I go one better, I have 4 different flavors at all times! So I can really mix it up. But you know what, I don't chew gum all day long, just when I feel the desire to have a flavor in my mouth. Do you ever get that? You're not hungry, you just want to taste something. Okay, maybe I'm crazy! ha ha Or I will grab a piece when I'm done eating a meal or a snack but I still have the desire to chew, even though my belly is full. My stomach has gotten smaller, which is awesome, and I can't eat as much as I used to, but sometimes my brain is telling me "there's no way you're done, you haven't chewed enough times" ha ha old habits die hard I guess.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Something crazy is happening to me
Tonight on my run, I actually liked it! And further more.... I didn't want to stop! I-am-not-kidding-you! I wouldn't lie about this. It actually happened to me. After 6 weeks for working out (not just running, many different types workouts) I'm starting to actually enjoy it! It's also getting easier and I'm feeling faster. I really didn't want to stop! The only reason I did was because it was getting really dark out and I'm just not comfortable going by myself when it pitch black. So I have to tell you about it, I walked 1 mile with my parents who were over for dinner then I started my run with out any expectations as to how long I was going to do it. After 1 mile running, I felt pretty good, so I do another. After 2 miles I'm still feeling like I have a lot left in me so I do another mile. After 3 miles, it's almost pitch black outside and getting pretty late BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO STOP! I didn't get that painful stitch in my side. So I keep going a little longer up and down the street my house is on, cause I didn't want to go far being that it was as late as it was. The ONLY reason I came inside was because I was starting to feel crazy running up and down the same street. Let me just tell you, I FEEL GREAT!!!! Physically and most importantly emotionally! I wanted to know if it was possible to become a "runner" and although I wouldn't call myself that yet, I do in fact believe it to be possible for me. And I can not tell you how good it feels to think that, say that and know that. I have never felt to empowered in my entire life and I wish everyone could feel what I am feeling at this moment.
Week 5 Results
Down 3.6 lbs
Sorry, this is a little late, it's friday and weigh ins are on monday. Life has been crazy busy lately, but it's a good thing. I'm feeling amazing! Clothes are starting to fall off, which is always exciting, and old clothes that haven't been worn in 2 years are starting to fit! YAY! Also I'm getting a lot of comments for friends who are starting to notice which is SOOOOO motivating to hear! I'm down about 20 pounds total and couldn't be happier. Everyday its getting easier and easier to stick with it. My cravings aren't as bad for some of the junk food and sweets (although it still seems hard during that time of the month). I physically can't eat as much as I used to. I'm just feeling good. Though the biggest loser challenges aren't that exciting for me the last 2 weeks. But that's okay. Maybe I should just come up with my own challenges. I don't know! =) The only thing that has been REALLLLLLLLLY hard is I'm not sleeping well. As you know I LOVE to run at night and it seems like the nights that I don't, I lay awake in bed FOR HOURS I'm not kidding you 3-4 a.m. not being able to sleep. My only guess is that my body is used to running at night and has SO much energy to burn that it can't fall asleep on the nights I don't go. It's frustrating. I think I either need to change when I run OR never take a day off. Not sure which plan I'm going to go with. I'll let you know.
Sorry, this is a little late, it's friday and weigh ins are on monday. Life has been crazy busy lately, but it's a good thing. I'm feeling amazing! Clothes are starting to fall off, which is always exciting, and old clothes that haven't been worn in 2 years are starting to fit! YAY! Also I'm getting a lot of comments for friends who are starting to notice which is SOOOOO motivating to hear! I'm down about 20 pounds total and couldn't be happier. Everyday its getting easier and easier to stick with it. My cravings aren't as bad for some of the junk food and sweets (although it still seems hard during that time of the month). I physically can't eat as much as I used to. I'm just feeling good. Though the biggest loser challenges aren't that exciting for me the last 2 weeks. But that's okay. Maybe I should just come up with my own challenges. I don't know! =) The only thing that has been REALLLLLLLLLY hard is I'm not sleeping well. As you know I LOVE to run at night and it seems like the nights that I don't, I lay awake in bed FOR HOURS I'm not kidding you 3-4 a.m. not being able to sleep. My only guess is that my body is used to running at night and has SO much energy to burn that it can't fall asleep on the nights I don't go. It's frustrating. I think I either need to change when I run OR never take a day off. Not sure which plan I'm going to go with. I'll let you know.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
10 Minutes
No I'm not going to promise you some magical work out that will make you loose 100 pounds if you only sacrifice 10 minutes a day. Sorry.
As a new runner, I have learned something. 10 minutes is about what it takes for my body and get into my groove and just run. As you may remember me mentioning a few times about having some pain in my right heal, 10 minutes is what is seems to take and then it doesn't hurt anymore. It's tough to push past that, I'm not going to lie to you. I try to go out for a run with out ANY expectations as to how long or how far I'm going to run that day because for some reason it stresses me out. I am getting stronger and learning what my body can really handle, but I do listen to my body to tell me what it can take that day (with out being a big whimp). It works for me, I can't say if it would work for everyone. My goal is to run 1 mile without stopping and then I go from there. But it seems that once I push myself past that first 10 minutes of internal arguing "I don't know if I can do it today, this feels really hard today, everything hurts bla bla bla"I have the ability to really GO! Today was a personal record. I ran 3 miles with out stopping! And that for me is AMAZING! I didn't leave the house with that goal in mind, although it was in the back somewhere thinking that that would be great if I could, but it's not what I set out to do. But after that first 10 minutes, I just felt GOOD! SO I kept going till a little after the 3 miles I got that stitch in my side (what IS that by the way!?!) and had to stop, but I kept walking another mile. I have also noticed that my breathing isn't as heavy and my heart isn't jumping out of my chest. You know what that means? It's getting to be the time to step it up so I can keep my heart rate up and burn the most calories possible. And you know what else, I actually said the words today "I can't wait for my run tonight!" I seriously shocked myself the moment after I said it! It's like I wanted to turn around and see who said that behind me! Ha ha! Things are changing for me. Ohhh and you know what else helps, I read this a long time ago and it really stuck with me... While your working out it helps to physically smile, even if you look crazy (which I probably do) but every once in a while, like when it's getting really hard, just smile to your self and think about how good you're doing. There is something about it, it actually helps! Because after I smile I laugh at myself for being such a big dork, but for those few moments, it lightens the mood. Don't think I'm crazy till you try it. Also, and lastly, think good thoughts. Don't think do your self how much is sucks or how hard it is to work out while your working out. That won't help anything. Keep reminding yourself that you're doing an amazing job and you are SO DARN PROUD of your self!
BTW tonight on my run a bug TOTALLY flew into my mouth and I mean ALLLLL the way in and hit the back of my throat! YUCK! Don't worry, I spit it out, but still, gross!
As a new runner, I have learned something. 10 minutes is about what it takes for my body and get into my groove and just run. As you may remember me mentioning a few times about having some pain in my right heal, 10 minutes is what is seems to take and then it doesn't hurt anymore. It's tough to push past that, I'm not going to lie to you. I try to go out for a run with out ANY expectations as to how long or how far I'm going to run that day because for some reason it stresses me out. I am getting stronger and learning what my body can really handle, but I do listen to my body to tell me what it can take that day (with out being a big whimp). It works for me, I can't say if it would work for everyone. My goal is to run 1 mile without stopping and then I go from there. But it seems that once I push myself past that first 10 minutes of internal arguing "I don't know if I can do it today, this feels really hard today, everything hurts bla bla bla"I have the ability to really GO! Today was a personal record. I ran 3 miles with out stopping! And that for me is AMAZING! I didn't leave the house with that goal in mind, although it was in the back somewhere thinking that that would be great if I could, but it's not what I set out to do. But after that first 10 minutes, I just felt GOOD! SO I kept going till a little after the 3 miles I got that stitch in my side (what IS that by the way!?!) and had to stop, but I kept walking another mile. I have also noticed that my breathing isn't as heavy and my heart isn't jumping out of my chest. You know what that means? It's getting to be the time to step it up so I can keep my heart rate up and burn the most calories possible. And you know what else, I actually said the words today "I can't wait for my run tonight!" I seriously shocked myself the moment after I said it! It's like I wanted to turn around and see who said that behind me! Ha ha! Things are changing for me. Ohhh and you know what else helps, I read this a long time ago and it really stuck with me... While your working out it helps to physically smile, even if you look crazy (which I probably do) but every once in a while, like when it's getting really hard, just smile to your self and think about how good you're doing. There is something about it, it actually helps! Because after I smile I laugh at myself for being such a big dork, but for those few moments, it lightens the mood. Don't think I'm crazy till you try it. Also, and lastly, think good thoughts. Don't think do your self how much is sucks or how hard it is to work out while your working out. That won't help anything. Keep reminding yourself that you're doing an amazing job and you are SO DARN PROUD of your self!
BTW tonight on my run a bug TOTALLY flew into my mouth and I mean ALLLLL the way in and hit the back of my throat! YUCK! Don't worry, I spit it out, but still, gross!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Stressed spelled backwards = desserts
Didn't ya know? I think that is every over weight/emotional eaters motto, is it not? I'm sitting here typing this eating a marshmallow I'll have you know. I had to deal with some stressful things today that I'm not going to get into on here and yesterday I did something to my shoulder/back and had what I think is a pinched nerve or muscle and was in a lot of pain. It's causing me to reach for things that I KNOW I shouldn't! I'm dealing with stress by eating and that makes me MORE stressed and is making me eat MORE! UGH! 7 days ago I was doing SO GOOD! Now...... not at all. Oh well, momma said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my momma said.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Week 4 Results
Down 1.8lbs
It's not bad. I was down more, but there is nothing like a road trip to totally ruin your weight loss efforts. My little family decided to go on an extremely last minute road trip. Literately we decided to go and where gone in less then 3 hours. CRAZY! We never do stuff like that, but it was the fourth of July so we decided to give it a go. I'm a little bummed because I had the best week of my entire life eating and working out, and then went to on the road food and no working out for 4 days. I think I would have lost more if it weren't for that. But oh well. I did try to eat okay. I wasn't back to "old" Rachel but it also wasn't "new" Rachel. I've learned that marshmallows are NOT a "safe" food for me. I canNOT say no to a marshmallow! UGH! Especially on the fourth of July. Since we have gotten back I have had the WORSE munches! I'll get back on track. I understand that this is life. I'm changing my life style and holidays come up. Like I said, I didn't completely let my self go and I am proud of myself.
My heal still hurts. I really WANT to become a runner so I'm not going to give up. Last night I tried to jog a little and not only did my heal still hurt but my back and shoulders are out of whack due to VERY uncomfortable sleeping arrangements during our trip. I WANT to get to the point where running feels good. My question for the universe is... Can anyone become a "runner?" My definition of a runner is someone who can run with out feeling like they are gonna die after a few short minutes and then KILL the selves just to run for the amount of time or distance they set out to fun for AND a runner is someone who actually LIKES to run. I have NEVER gotten to that point in my life where I like working out and I'm curious if it is possible for anyone to become that type of person. Know what I mean. There is something that I LOVE to do and that is ZUMBA! It is SOOOO fun for me! I would do it everyday and that makes getting a gym membership really tempting! It's such a great work out, it's SO FUN and the time goes by CRAZY fast! I love it! Maybe that is "my thing" where as running isn't. I could even see myself an instructor. I think that would be so extremely fun!
It's not bad. I was down more, but there is nothing like a road trip to totally ruin your weight loss efforts. My little family decided to go on an extremely last minute road trip. Literately we decided to go and where gone in less then 3 hours. CRAZY! We never do stuff like that, but it was the fourth of July so we decided to give it a go. I'm a little bummed because I had the best week of my entire life eating and working out, and then went to on the road food and no working out for 4 days. I think I would have lost more if it weren't for that. But oh well. I did try to eat okay. I wasn't back to "old" Rachel but it also wasn't "new" Rachel. I've learned that marshmallows are NOT a "safe" food for me. I canNOT say no to a marshmallow! UGH! Especially on the fourth of July. Since we have gotten back I have had the WORSE munches! I'll get back on track. I understand that this is life. I'm changing my life style and holidays come up. Like I said, I didn't completely let my self go and I am proud of myself.
My heal still hurts. I really WANT to become a runner so I'm not going to give up. Last night I tried to jog a little and not only did my heal still hurt but my back and shoulders are out of whack due to VERY uncomfortable sleeping arrangements during our trip. I WANT to get to the point where running feels good. My question for the universe is... Can anyone become a "runner?" My definition of a runner is someone who can run with out feeling like they are gonna die after a few short minutes and then KILL the selves just to run for the amount of time or distance they set out to fun for AND a runner is someone who actually LIKES to run. I have NEVER gotten to that point in my life where I like working out and I'm curious if it is possible for anyone to become that type of person. Know what I mean. There is something that I LOVE to do and that is ZUMBA! It is SOOOO fun for me! I would do it everyday and that makes getting a gym membership really tempting! It's such a great work out, it's SO FUN and the time goes by CRAZY fast! I love it! Maybe that is "my thing" where as running isn't. I could even see myself an instructor. I think that would be so extremely fun!
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